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FAKE NOSTALGIA: An Anthology of Broken Stuff

by Tempertwig

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1.
We’ll be talking about Bagpuss just to break the ice at parties for the rest of our lives and I know it and you know it and if Bratpack film philosophy’s the only thing that’s good for us then then so be it I’ll be waiting, I’m still waiting Like Diana Ross and the Supremes I’ve got a mobile phone in one hand and a light ale in the other And I’m waiting and I’m waiting and I’m waiting and I’m waiting You never understand, It’s another wasted summer Got hundreds of photographs of people that I barely know And most have got their heads cut off It’s another wasted summer I’m sick and tired of duty frees and hours and hours of late night telly Andrew Neil at 2am, Andrew Neil at 3am I’m sick and tired of duty frees and hours and hours of photograph wastching I’m sick and tired of another wasted summer We’ll be talking about Bagpuss just to break the ice at parties for the rest of our lives and I know it and you know it and if Bratpack film philosophy’s the only thing that’s good for us then then so be it I’ll be waiting, I’m still waiting Like Diana Ross and the Supremes I’ve got a mobile phone in one hand and a bottle of ale in the other And I’m waiting and I’m waiting and I’m waiting and I’m waiting You never understand, It’s another wasted summer Got hundreds of photographs of people that I barely know And most have got their heads cut off It’s another wasted summer I’m sick and tired of duty frees and hours and hours of late night telly Watching Andrew Neil at 2am, Andrew Neil at 3am I’m sick and tired of duty frees and hours and hours of photograph watching I’m sick and tired of another wasted summer I’m sick and tired of photographs of people that I barely know Hours and hours of my life spent, sweat sticking my fingertips together Reading books about people that I’ll never met, people I don’t care about I’m sick and tired of another wasted summer
2.
Falling Apart in front of people you love And getting off with ugly girls 2 o’clock every Saturday morning It’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it Let’s go outside make a face at the window You go too fast you don’t know what to believe in Your devil mask on, there’s a séance inside But everybody knows it’s okay Let’s deconstruct all the people you love Pull off masks and wings Like daddy long legs in the hands of particularly brutal children Let’s go outside make a friend Go outside make a friend Go outside make a friend Go outside make a friend Go outside make a friend Go outside make a friend You don’t see eye to eye with It’s like: Waiting at stations and nobody coming It’s like: waiting at stations and nobody coming It’s like: waiting at stations and nobody coming It’s like: When you get there, she looks exactly like the photograph Oh my god she looks exactly like the photograph Bad thing Falling Apart in front of people you love And getting off with ugly girls 2 o’clock every Saturday morning It’s a tough job Let’s go outside make a face at the window You go too fast you don’t know what to believe in Your devil mask on, there’s a séance inside But everybody knows it’s okay It’s like: Waiting at stations and nobody coming It’s like: waiting at stations and nobody coming It’s like: waiting at stations and nobody coming It’s like: If I was a bus stop I’d be smashed up And your tag would be left all over me If I was a bus stop I’d be smashed up And your tag would be left all over me If I was a bus stop I’d be smashed up And your tag would be left all over me If I was a bus I’d be a double decker With the top deck severed clean off If I was a bus stop I’d be smashed up And your tag would be left all over me If I was a bus I’d be a double decker With the top deck severed clean off
3.
Supersad 04:29
Oh my god you’re a mess Jesus Christ you’re a mess And to think you used to tell yourself You can do anything You can be anything Oh my god Get yourself into pubs and clubs And do anything And be anything You’re in love she says you tried your best now it’s over Its over its over its over its over its over its over And the skull inside my head Could be an ashtray one day Just suck out the insides And fill it with butt-ends I’m stuck in some pub in the heart of the east-end And tip me up sideways it looks like I’m smiling but hey Just call me Supersad And the voice inside my head Could just be static one day Just stuck on a Dictaphone At the British Museum I’m got futuristic tourists and they’re laughing at my accent And if they press the fast forward it might sound like I’m happy but happy I’ve got soul And I’m Supersad Just call me Supersad. Just call me Supersad. Just call me Supersad. Just call me Supersad.
4.
Get the night bus home on your own The chat-up lines you pulled from books you can’t recall Have let you down again The girl with the brown hair doesn’t want to know About architecture and films with no plotlines The girl with the blond hair doesn’t understand It’s okay she says you can You can cry if you really want to she says You’re in a public place and you look frankly pathetic But you can cry if you really want to she says This is the nineties, she says, or at least it was at the time You’ll be okay she says She says Just suck in your cheeks she says, Just suck in your cheeks and you might look a bit like Brett Anderson in the early days When people actually used to fancy him Just suck in your cheeks she says, someone loves you, someone cares She says She got off the coach at Forest Hill, New Cross, somewhere like that And for a split second there it looked like she was gonna look around at him He had his telephone number against the window but oh god no, she was just dodging traffic or something No-one listened, no one cared, no one listened, no one cared When he got home that night He said he was too tired to ever really fall asleep again He just laid his magazines across the floor and looked at them for about two hours or something Waiting for the sun to come back in to the room and waiting for the telephone to ring Waiting for Richard and Judy to flicker back onto the screen And waiting for the phone to ring
5.
You made me feel like Ian Curtis tonight “Why is the bedroom so cold” etc, etc Turn the television down Listen to the traffic outside Through the walls, through the walls, through the walls, through the walls You made me feel like Ian Curtis tonight “Why is the bedroom so cold” etc, etc Turn the television down Listen to the traffic outside Through the walls, through the walls, through the walls, through the walls You can shout You can scream You can self-destruct if you like I don’t care I know, I know You’re my comfort blanket I know You made me feel like Ian Curtis tonight “Why is the bedroom so cold” etc, etc Turn the television down Listen to the traffic outside Through the walls, through the walls, through the walls, through the walls You made me feel like Ian Curtis tonight “Why is the bedroom so cold” etc, etc Turn the television down Listen to the traffic outside Through the walls, through the walls, through the walls, through the walls You can snort You can snore You can go to bed and try to bore the pants off me if you want I know You’re my comfort blanket I know My mobile phones on, why don’t you text me? My mobile phones on, why don’t you text me? My mobile phones on, why don’t you text me? You say things at night, that’s when they hurt the most I suppose she said Everybody goes away too often she said Everybody goes too far too often she said You say these things at night, I don’t want to know what she said in so much detail You hurt yourself in so much detail Something’s coming over me, and something’s coming over you You made me feel like Ian Curtis tonight “Why is the bedroom so cold” etc, etc You made me feel like Ian Curtis tonight “Why is the bedroom so cold” etc, etc
6.
I don’t Wanna come downstairs and find you there A product of an overactive imagination gone too far again It’s grown arms, legs, and it’s eating my breakfast I don’t ‘cause every day it feels like suicide Ba ba ba The stereo in the kitchen in the morning – this means nothing to me This means nothing to me Get yourself on the dance floor she said, she said, she said You’re much too old to understand, much too young to understand She said, she said, she said I don’t Want to wake up one morning and forget who I am It’s not compulsory is it? Is it? It’s not mandatory at the age of 26, 27? I don’t ‘cause every day it feels like suicide Ba ba ba The stereo in the kitchen in the morning – this means nothing to me This means nothing to me Get yourself on the dance floor she said, she said, she said You’re much too old to understand, much too young to understand these days Get your fingers in your ears and get out. Get out! Ba ba ba The stereo in the kitchen in the morning – this means nothing to me she said This means nothing to me Ba ba ba The stereo in the kitchen in the morning – it was... it was quite relentless
7.
It’s alright We’ve got the telly on and It’s alright We’ll entertain ourselves this time And you can keep the sleeping pills At home, alone, tonight And everything can be derailed Yeah, everything can be derailed It’s alright We can laugh and smile and keep our fingers crossed And we can hide the sleeping pills Up there, on the bedroom cabinet, on the left And everything can be derailed Yeah, everything can be derailed It’s alright We can take the sleeping pills It’s alright, it’s not week, it don’t mean a thing And everything can be derailed Yeah, everything can be derailed It’s like: Walking too fast Giving too much Trying too hard Can’t remember I’ve forgotten, I’ve forgotten, I forgot... It’s like: Talking too fast Trying too hard Giving too much Can’t remember I’ve forgotten, I’ve forgotten, I forgot...
8.
Apricot 05:24
It’s been said before A thousand times but better she said Get your face off the radio You’re not Marvin Gaye she said You’re not Marvin Gaye she said And everything’s okay And nothing seems much better than the TB injection that I had as a child but that was vaguely compelling you know I should have tried I’m truly sorry about everything I’m truly sorry about everything You know Fake nostalgia makes me sick Fake nostalgia makes me sick Fake nostalgia makes me feel like getting out of this town It’s been said before A thousand times but better she said Get your face off the radio You’re not Marvin Gaye she said You’re not Marvin Gaye she said And everything’s okay And nothing seems much better than the TB injection that I had as a child but that was vaguely compelling you know I should have tried I’m truly sorry about everything I’m truly sorry about everything You know Fake nostalgia makes me sick Fake nostalgia makes me sick Fake nostalgia makes me feel like getting out of this town I tried to go too far – I guess it wasn’t really in me I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried... I tried to lose myself – I guess it wasn’t really in me I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried...
9.
This means everything, this don’t mean a thing I’m sorry about improper grammar and spelling on everything with more than three syllables Like agoraphobia, encyclopaedia, etc, etc This means everything, this don’t mean a thing I’m sorry I always made you say you love me just to shut me up in carparks, cafes, restuarants and suchlike... I’m sorry This means everything, this don’t mean a thing I’m sorry, that’s it. Full stop. I’m not Bono. I’m not Bono. This isn’t U2. This isn’t the song that got you and your girlfriend back together again. This means everything, this don’t mean a thing I’m sorry, that’s it. Full stop. I’m not Bono. I’m not Bono. This isn’t U2. This isn’t the song that got you and your girlfriend back together again. This isn’t the song that got you through the storm of ’87 – I’m sorry. This isn’t Achtung Baby – I’m sorry. This isn’t the Joshua Tree – I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry...
10.
The Opener 03:29
She says this city’s still a part of you There’s nothing you can really do It’s like a glue, or a crap tattoo Or just like a stain you can’t get off your trousers in the morning She says this city’s still a part of you And every time you smile there’s this network of lines that work their way across your face And they’re gradually making up a perfect roadmap of central Croydon You hate your friends but that’s okay I think they’re feeling the same way Get on that coach and pay your fair And get your body out of there She says sing a song that makes me cry Or write a book that makes me feel alone And I’ll feel alone For you I’d do the strangest things I’d change my name or get a new tattoo And I hate tattoos – I’d get He-man on one arm, and a smurf on the other She says sing a song that makes me cry Or write a book that makes me feel alone And I’ll feel alone Yeah, I’ll feel alone For you
11.
Pretending it’s okay I miss you, but it’s okay A Sunday, a Monday (and it’s the stupid songs that always seem to make you cry) A Friday, a Monday (and it’s the stupid songs that always seem to make you cry) 2am, a sad song, Bon Jovi, or anyone (and it’s the stupid songs that always seem to make you cry) And I miss you, I miss you, I miss you... I might not write it or sent it, but it’s the thought that counts you know This is a heartfelt letter to an ex-friend Who never understands It’s been seven months since our last conversation This is a heartfelt letter you know You never understand, you never understand What’s a heart? It’s just a piece of meat in cellophane - £2.50, special offer I miss you, I miss you, I miss you

about

Tempertwig (1999-2004) were a three piece from South London. They featured Ben and Adam Parker of the acclaimed groups Nosferatu D2 (nosferatud2.bandcamp.com) and The Superman Revenge Squad Band (thesupermanrevengesquadband.bandcamp.com).

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"Angled hooks, mathematical elasticity, and unbridled ferocity, the Parker brothers are the lost pioneers of the indie-emo scene." - Cereal and Sounds

"It’s a cliché to say that the Parkers were ahead of their time – but it’s certainly true that the songs on FAKE NOSTALGIA are as relevant now as when they were recorded almost twenty years ago." - Beautiful Freaks

"It may have been written almost twenty years ago, yet listening to this collection, Tempertwig feel like they were not a band who ever really tried to fit in, as such they sound as fresh and intriguing now as they ever did." - For the Rabbits

"It's simply stunning and sounds like the future even though it's over 15 years old." - The Devil Has the Best Tuna

"Melancholic, tired anger...classic Parker brothers, the vulnerable honesty balanced with an unceasing self-consciousness, the cost of trying to communicate candidly in a culture that Mark Fisher labels ‘capitalist realism’—where everything has long since been used up and commodified, and nothing new can emerge." - Various Small Flames

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The cult work of Ben and Adam Parker has found fans at Public Radio International, Drowned in Sound, Gold Flake Paint, DIY Mag, BBC Radio, TLOBF and many more.

FAKE NOSTALGIA: An Anthology of Broken Stuff is a collection of Parker brothers material from their early and urgent days. Lyrical, frantic, minimalistic and eclectically unpredictable, theirs is a sound which has launched labels a decade apart. This collection is released by Audio Antihero Records, who formed in 2009 to release Nosferatu D2’s lone album, and, the fledgling Randy Sadage label, who are debuting in 2019 to release this Tempertwig anthology. This music means a lot to a few.

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"FAKE NOSTALGIA" was premiered by Cereal & Sounds - www.cerealandsounds.com/2019/03/24/premiere-tempertwig-fake-nostalgia-an-anthology-of-broken-stuff/

* "Comfort Blanket" and "Everything Can Be Derailed" were premiered by Various Small Flames - varioussmallflames.co.uk/2019/03/07/tempertwig-comfort-blanket-everything-can-be-derailed

* "This Means Everything, This Don't Mean a Thing" was premiered by Beautiful Freaks -
beautifulfreaks.co.uk/features/2019/03/premiere-tempertwig-this-means-everything-this-dont-mean-a-thing

* "Apricot" was premiered on For the Rabbits - fortherabbits.net/2019/03/21/premiere-tempertwig-apricot/

Ben Parker's album commentary Track-by-Track feature on The Alternative - www.getalternative.com/track-by-track-tempertwig-fake-nostalgia-an-anthology-of-broken-stuff

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"The songs on this album were recorded over the duration of the lifespan of tempertwig, starting from when we got half-decent and finally got rid of our initial set of songs. From memory, I believe they incorporate recordings by Paul Tipler (who, importantly to me at the time, had preciously recorded Leatherface at their peak), the engineer at a place in Oxford, Adam (tempertwig drummer) and our brief second-guitarist Mark. Put together, I think they represent the setlist of our last gigs.

The band were made up of me, my brother Adam, and our friend Daniel. Highlights included the time "Comfort Blanket" was played by Steve Lamacq on Radio 1 and described us as "Jarvis Cocker singing with Dinosaur Jr", and being asked to headline in Bath based upon one listen by a very enthusiastic promotor. Lowlights included a gig at the Hope and Anchor when a skinhead threw sandwiches at us, and turning up at the gig in Bath to play to an audience made up of just one very enthusiastic promotor.

We wrote the songs back in the early 2000s and, thanks to this release, I'm listening to them for the first time since now. I can enjoy them now, because enough time has passed that they sound like someone else. I'm not sure they sound like the mixture of the Afghan Whigs and Arab Strap that I was initially aiming for, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.” - Ben Parker (2019)

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Press & Label Contact: info @ audioantihero dot com

credits

released March 29, 2019

Tempertwig were:
Ben Parker (Guitar & Vocals)
Adam Parker (Drums)
Daniel Debono (Bass)

Artwork and remastering by Benjamin Shaw - bnjmnshw.wordpress.com
Released by Audio Antihero Records and Randy Sadage Records

Contacts: Ben Parker – ben_hates_penguins @ yahoo dot com / info @ audioantihero dot com

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Tempertwig Croydon, UK

Tempertwig (1999-2004) were Ben Parker, Adam Parker and Daniel Debono.

"FAKE NOSTALGIA" is an anthology release of pre-Nosferatu D2 material from the Parker brothers.

Contact:ben_hates_penguins @ yahoo dot com / info @ audioantihero dot com
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